Happy Sunday!!! 💞
The hedonic treadmill, also known as hedonic adaptation, is the observed tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes – Wikipedia.
Last time, I enlightened you on “Gaslighting”. Sadly, so many of us have experienced this without actually knowing it. Placing a name on it just acknowledges it.
Read previous post titled “Gaslighting”.
Example 1: Since we are family here, I will be sharing two gaslighting experiences of mine. One from an ex and the other my own flesh & blood – lets call her cousin Lee.
I don’t remember being an actual child. Mentally, I don’t think I ever was because I had to mature quicker than most. Growing up with a single parent and in an household with adults does that to you, I guess.
Anyway, cousin Lee was a few years older than I was and she just seemed at the time to be highly favored (spiritually). Lol, till now I still don’t understand why I felt that way.
Moving on… cousin Lee would say to me “Ede, God doesn’t love you, that’s why things don’t work out for you like it does for me” and foolish me would ask “what can I do to get God to love me like he does you?” And she’d say give me your phone or your new doll or whatever caught her fancy at that time and I’d give it and things would only get worse.
Silly me. 🤦🏽♀️
I wanted to be so badly loved by God that I couldn’t see that he kept punishing me for my stupidity as if to say “I love you the most yet you are blinded to my love so here’s another dose of life lessons.
Cousin Lee knew this truth, so she took advantage. I had all the love and things I needed whereas she didn’t so she spiritually blackmailed me for years into giving her all she couldn’t get on her own.
Example 2: An ex; lets call him -Brad.
Brad would always say to me “I love you because you’re smart” yet the same Brad would be the one to call me stupid when I made a mistake and suggest that I had a mental illness when I forgot something.
Heres a little backstory: I have terrible anxiety issues possibly from wanting to be a perfectionist and I tend to become a scatterbrain when I’m tense which I assume happens to everyone. Or not.
Brad made it a point of duty to remind me daily of everything I wasn’t good at. I would go on to believe that I was no good to anyone and it’d be better to disappear. Literally.
Man!!! That was hectic.
I was much younger then and much younger than Brad was (cradle-snatching Brad). 😂
Brad has long since apologized but the damage had been done. Although, it was great closure to know I was not at fault (other than staying) or insane – completely. I kid.
But I digress…
Someone said to me recently “you’re going places. God allowed you experience all these things so when you rise, you’d be able to help others. You can’t be worried if your servant hasn’t eaten if you’ve not experienced hunger”…. I felt that in my spirit.
I honestly don’t know where I’m going but I sure am going somewhere. I hope.
Moral is; we may sometimes find ourselves in certain toxic situations and brush it off or may be too afraid to pull out of.
This is a reminder that the problem is not with you but the responsibility to remain or leave is yours, so also is your healing.
I’m moving on to something better on this hedonic treadmill.
Here’s a video of me attempting to dance at “Edugie Homes”.