Your words Stab my soul.

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Words hurt!

That’s a brutal fact. 

In a bid of honesty or for whatever reason we feel comfortable enough to blurt our thoughts & emotions to others, we sometimes forget not everyone is built the same way.

Let us take examples of how simple regular words can have two completely different meanings when put in the wrong context.

Exhibit A: I fear you & I’m afraid of you. 

One could mean you sometimes fear the actions the other person does and the other could mean you’re simply terrified of the person as a whole.

Exhibit B: I love you & I am in love with you.

There are different kinds of love. The former simply means you care enough about the other person while the latter means your emotions run deeply for the said someone.

Exhibit C: I don’t want you here & I don’t need you, your presence makes no difference to me.

Want is fickle. At that moment, your presence may not be needed in the environment of the speaker. But when someone says you’re not needed; not only does it hurt like a stab to the throat but also indirectly suggests that you’re dispensable.

No one needs or wants to hear that. Ever!

No one should have to if we’re being completely honest.

I tend to suppress my words & emotions so as not to hurt the feelings of another and mostly so I wouldn’t continue to be labeled as “sensitive”.

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I’ve come to realize that not only is this detrimental to my mental health because instead of saying your words hurt me, I go and cry myself to sleep. It also puts me in a box. I don’t ever want to hurt anyone but what about my feelings? Are they insignificant even to myself?

I hate labels!

Which begs the question; why can’t I be sensitive? I was wired this way & if I could, I’d probably choose to be emotionally stronger.

I don’t want to die in silence… 

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I used to play this twisted game called “I wonder what would kill me today”. Sick, I know. Back then when depression flooded over me like an erosion, I’d wake up daily hoping something would take me out of this world just so I don’t have to do it myself. I’d cross the road without looking but still, here I am.

Unconsciously; at the end of the day, I’d rule out the possible options I had hoped would happen that day & say to myself “if this didn’t kill me today, then it never will”.

These days, I want to live and although my life is far from perfect – great even, I am more privileged than most so I cannot complain.

Moral is, everybody is going through something. Let us be the kinds with the words and how we communicate with one another.

Wounds heal but words that inflict pain & trauma leave permanent scars.

Good Health & love I wish you all…. Have a blessed weekend.

Here are some photos of “Edugie Homes”. 🏠

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2 thoughts on “Your words Stab my soul.

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