Je ne sais quoi.

I don’t know what…

I don’t know what it is about confidence that throws another off.

I don’t know what it is about fear that cripples us.

I don’t know what it is about vanity that consumes us.

I don’t know what is about pride that beseeches arrogance.

I don’t know what it is about skin that encourages rape.

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I don’t know what is about lust that suggests that it is love.

I don’t know what is about grace that causes another to envy.

I don’t know what it is about feminism that creates panic in some.

I don’t know what is about religion that aids mental slavery.

I don’t know what is about poverty that invigorates those with the most unique stories.

I don’t know what is about death that proposes peace to the one who seeks a way out of the torturous life he/she feels trapped in.

I don’t know what it about freedom that evinces stupidity.

I don’t know what it is about fame that causes some to forfeit boundaries.

I don’t know what it is about “judgmental folks” that makes them feel entitled so as to force their way of life on others.

I don’t know why the fons et origo of insecurity is someone else’s beauty.

I don’t know…

I don’t know what to do. Most days.

These days are not mine… or so it seems.

Most days are good – great even but some days, I feel as if my soul has stepped out of my body.

The things I wish to do; I can not… yet!

Could be bad timing or something throws me off my plans.

Whatever it is though, “i cannot can” anymore.

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As I grow in wisdom, I’m realizing that I am not as ballsy as I should be. I know what it is I must and ought to do but for the seemingly “greater good” I cannot live my best life on my own terms and this is deeply frustrating.

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… ellipses…

 

Like I said; Je ne sais quoi. 

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