This house doesn’t feel like home.

Home is a feeling, not a place…

They say you don’t get to choose your family but you do get to decide how you choose to be treated and you can pick your friends. 

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Now, We live in a more mentally conscious world yet mental health is still being ignored. 

It’s always the little things that trigger mental illness and then it all complies and eventually may lead to a mental breakdown.

The suppression of emotional damages and whatnot is one of the major causes of the increase in the suicide rate although some have claimed it’s “spiritual”, I can assure you depression is real and it’d kill you faster than a drunk driver would.

Truthfully, human nature is way too deep to be completely understood & we can never truly know ourselves completely. Time and again, you may do things that are surprising to you and make you question your character but that’s okay, so long as you’re able to reevaluate and stay true to who you want to be.

Today’s piece was triggered by a conversation I had with a friend and a WhatsApp story I saw which led me to talk about it. 

Photos are below. 

Most African parents express their love in an unorthodox way and let’s not pretend that the upbringing of the African female child is different from that of the African male child in most homes.

It’s a man’s world they say… this explains why we have so many entitled males in society today.

But people are waking up and realizing they want more from life than what’s expected of them.

There are a lot of damaged people in the society these days sadly & if you care enough to take out the time to understand them, it can be traced back to messy parenting styles.

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I have said that I am the way I am mainly because of my family and the environment I grew up in but it’s not always the same for others. I do not claim to have perfect parents but I do have a viable support system.

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I’ve been told over & again that I ought to go to school, get a job then get married and have kids. All that is fine but what about my dreams? I’d like to find myself before becoming someone else’s and I’m fortunate to be able to converse with my folks on most matters.

Both male and female are at liberty to live out their lives the best way they know how to. There’s too much pent up anger and anxiety in today’s world because people are too afraid to speak up to those who wrong them especially when it’s family.” But shouldn’t family be the one we should be able to open up to despite how greatly we plummet?

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Friendship will get you closer to your kids than discipline ever would. Although that too is needed but you cannot seek respect and trust with force; it is earned.

An elder may know the route for the journey yet still needs a young one to accompany him/her. Loved one, we are better when we go through life together… 

People say what your parents don’t know, your friends would know because there is no judgement among true friends.

Befriend your children.

Comparison. Don’t do that. 

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I wish more parents would love and appreciate their children for WHO they are; flaws and all and stop comparing them to the next child who’s seemingly greater.

Comparison can come in several ways.

Some parents make the mistake of trying to live vicariously through their kids. Hence, some encourage their kids to chase the dreams they were unable to and get frustrated when things don’t work out.

Sadly, we have found new ways of raising better liars and children that die just a little daily from living lives they are displeased with. In most cases, this traumatic routine is carried on to the next generation causing more problems in the world.

Our sole duty as humans is to SERVE.

I’d like to remind everyone that when you have kids, in as much as you want the best for your children; you may not always know what is best for them. Only God knows and even he expects nothing in return because love is unselfish.

I used to imagine a father or mother’s love to be the same as the love of our creator but I’ve come to realize that it is overambitious of me to do that because humans are subjectable to flaws.

Our love for one another can always fall short which is why we pray for grace but a parent’s love should be close enough to that of the Most High. I can only hope.

You’d do well to remember that this comes from a place of love and sometimes  there’s a history of bad parenting for your folks aswell. 

Love can be expressed in different forms and although sometimes it can be overbearing, it doesn’t make it any less solid.

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If you love me, don’t let go…

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Share with your folks and let’s become better parents and children for a better human race.

 

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