Mother or Monster-in-Law?

It’s been said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach or joystick (everyone 18 & above?)

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That is incorrect. Research has shown that those alone cannot guarantee you’d get the ring sis!!!💍

They say when you marry, you’re not just marrying the man alone but also his family.

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Most men are incredibly attached to their mothers. You cannot tamper with that bond. You shouldn’t.

I’ve also made the mistake of joking around with not having a mother-in-law in the past until I realised how selfish that is.

Most Nigerian females have the wrong perspective about mothers-in-law; possibly because of this woman (let’s blame Nollywood for this phobia) 👇

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The mistakes ladies sometimes make is assuming that their marriage will be more blissful with no interruptions from their partners family.

Possibly.

I feel it’s more of fear because only a mother can have that much power over her son.

Voodoo aside… (Nollywood blindsided us)

Females don’t like competition.

But who says it has to be?

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Every mother wants what’s best for her child. If she sees that it’s you then she’d ease up on you. 

Its a continuous cycle. The females complaining about a difficult mother-in-law today will possibly do the same when they have sons of their own.

The solution to this dilemma is simply to – Compromise.

I’d give an example, you go over to pay a visit to your supposed mother-in-law and you’re asked to cook or do chores.

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Do what you can but don’t overexert yourself. Do not make yourself out to be a slave just because you want to gain favour.

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You should always be yourself but still  be respectful and helpful to his/her family. 

Learn to meet each other half way… 

Knowing my dramatic self; I’d probably lord it over my kids how important I am to them.

 

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Turn my labour stories into a mantra for their birthdays… (I laugh in pettiness) 😁😁😁😁😁

But then again; if your mother-in-law is overbearing or out of line and your partner can’t stand up for you then that’s a problem to be solved another day.

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So long as no one is physically abusing you, then you can work out the rift between you and your mother-in-law.

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*Ps; Dear men/women; do not ever compare your partner with your mothers. No two persons are the same. It is alright to advice them to take on certain traits but never impose on their character. 

I’ve thought long and hard about this and I’ve resolved that in some African homes; marriages are built around the children.

Mothers focus so much on their children that when they start to grow, it feels like they are drifting off.

Letting go is never easy. 

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Some men prefer to have sons; the male child is sometimes their pride and joy.

It could be loneliness or fear of losing their place in the son’s life that causes some mothers-in-law to act unkindly towards their son’s/daughter’s partners.

This situation can go both ways; mothers-in-law from the female’s side may also be a bit problematic but ultimately a mother’s love surpasses all others.

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They may test you; it may be frustrating at times but the happiness of their child is all they really want.

Most anyway. 

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Adiós Amigos

2 thoughts on “Mother or Monster-in-Law?

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